what shd i do?

I am very lost now. 2 paths in front of me. Either i forward all my modules and get a cui diploma in the end or give up poly and go on to army. Questioning myself for very long and has been escaping from the problems through CCA activity, outing with friends even inside the virtual world. Insomnia haunting me almost 3mths le. Everyday slept at 5-6am, wake up late, go club rot, went home with friends.

Told my parents my situation today. Feeling dam sad now. I have been an introvert since secondary sch. Never able to express myself well enuff. CSCC gave me a new life. No one ever know that my inner self is lacking of confidence, even have suicidal thoughts during my low valley of life, and this time it is coming back. Maybe my fake impression manage to fool everyone as a cheerful, playful, guai lan character. I am like a beautifully designed vase that the flowers inside it is bleeding with tears every now and then, but people only get to see my exterior.